March Madness

March is typically my least favorite month of the year. Here are a few reasons why.

1. Crickets start chirping. Not a big deal for county folks, but this city girl can't stand the sound of crickets, especially when I am trying to sleep. And for those of you that know me, I like to sleep 8-9 hour each night. The crickets start making their noise in March and chirp the entire night outside my bedroom window. I have resorted to spraying them with water at 2am just to get them to quit. They quite literally bring me to tears. Click on the link to experience it.

http://freesound.iua.upf.edu/samplesViewSingle.php?id=22344

Isn't that just so soothing.

2. Also in March, a family of Swallows (Birds) decides to make their home on my front porch and have babies (2 sets with 7 babies each time). You are probably thinking, aww, so cute. Let me correct you here you tree hugger. This is the 6 year in a row that they have lived here. They make a mud nest right on top of my front door and live here for 4+ months. I have been pecked on the head a few times and plus birds are dirty and noisy. I have knocked their nest down so many times and they rebuild it within the hour. I went to Wild Bird Center and the only thing they said I could do was to put fake snakes all around my door and entry way. Not very welcoming and it might scar the kids for life. It would look like the Walker House of Darkness, however, the number of solicitors would probably drop dramatically.

3. March has weird weather. It's not hot enough to turn your air on or cold enough for the heat. It is also a high tornado month. All this strange weather results in lots of humidity which is just great because I then have an Afro for an entire month. No I will not post a picture.

4. St. Patrick's Day. I don't enjoy getting pinched all day because I forgot to wear green.

5. Last, this is when the worms come out. I guess it is all that weird weather or something. I don't really have anything against worms, but my kids love to collect them and bring them in to show me. Nothing like having a long worm on your kitchen counter.

Anybody with me out there??????

The Mind of a 3 year old

My 3 1/2 year old son will now only answer to the name of Jack Bauer and will get mad if I call him Landon. He wears camo and pretends to shoot bad guys (namely his sisters) because according to him that's what Jack does. No need to call CPS, he hasn't actually seen 24, just Todd and I talking about how cool Jack is.

I guess calling him Jack Bauer isn't so bad. During football season, I could only call him T.O. And sometimes Troy Aikman. And yes, I had to do it in public. Nothing more embarrassing than calling a little blonde, white boy T.O.

It's Here

My lovely new Dell. Black and silver - very cool.

If anyone knows how to get my favorite pictures, documents etc off my old computer, I will buy you a drink at Starbucks.

Morning at the gym

I was at the gym yesterday morning doing my normal workout and a guy came up to me and said ,"You lift those weights really nice."

Being the witty person I am, I responded ,"uh , thanks." I gave a little half smile to be polite and got back to my bicep curls.

As I was working out, I noticed this same guy was kind of following me around. Now before you start calling Todd, don't freak out or anything.

My gym admirer was at least 80 years old, bald and probably had cataracts.

The Joys Of Dieting

A conversation in our house last night.

Me: Ugggg! I feel so fat!

My Sweet Daughter: You're not fat. You are so skinny mom.

Todd: You could always be fatter.

I'm Not Dead!!!!

Just my computer. It crashed. I am at a friend's house. Never fear blogger friends. I ordered a new computer and will be here in a week.

Cheers

10 Things I Do To Cheer Myself Up

10. Drive around the neighborhood with the windows down yelling random things like, "Whoo Hee," and "Sandi Rocks," (Then drive really fast so they don't recognize me.)

9. Talk in pig latin to Todd until it drives him crazy.

8. Make Crank Calls. You have to use a neighbors house or a pay phone since everyone except us has caller Id now.

7. Read old yearbooks and see how cool I used to be in High school.

6. Sing karaoke to my favorite rock songs. ex: "Welcome to the Jungle" GnR

5. Eat nothing but old Valentine's Candy and drink coffee all day.

4. Take a tennis ball and try to hit it over my neighbor's house without them knowing and without hitting a window.

3. Go to a public place like starbucks or target or the mall and talk in a different accent. My accents of choice are british and ebonics.

2. Watch reruns of Magnum P.I. ( love this show)

1. Learn the dance scene from Napoleon Dynamite and perform it for family, friends, neighbor or just about anyone who will watch. The trick is to act like you are totally serious and trying out for star search.

Blogger won't publish my posts! What do I do? Help!!!

What Not to Do When You First Meet Someone

So I went to introduce myself to my new neighbor yesterday. I cross the street and walk up to him. He is working on his fence that fell down.

I say "Hi, I'm Sandi and I live right there." He introduces himself. I forgot his name. He says, "We have been meaning to bring cookies to all the neighbors but haven't gotten around to it." I said, "Yeah me too. I have been meaning to bring you some cookies but we keep eating them all."

As soon as it came out, I wished I could stuff those words right back in. He of course had no comment.

He was wearing a Vote For Pedro shirt. I said "Sweet" shirt. I was trying to be funny like Neoploen Dynamite. . . I didn't pull it off. He gives me a charity smile. Just see the movie. It's better.

So at this point I am 0 for 2.

He tells me he doesn't have kids yet but maybe oneday. I said, "I have four. You can borrow 1 or more anytime. I have all ages." I start to chuckle at my hilarity. . . my nameless neighbor did not.

Uggg - the word vomit. It keeps on coming. What is the matter with me. He of course had to get back inside immediately. Can you blame the guy?!

I go back inside and take a look in the mirror. My hair is of course wild and crazy. There are a few little feathers in it from my feather pillow and I have a pillow crease on my cheek from my nap. Lovely.

Did I forget to mention that I was wearing my green Camp K shirt and bright red sweat pants. Good combination. On top of everything else, he probably thinks I am color blind.