Wednesday, June 20, 2007

The Kind of Parent I Am

The other day my friend called. Did I mention she is the Pastor's wife? So my sweet friend asks what I was doing. Hmmm. How exactly do I answer?

My friend who is a great mom was probably teaching her kids bible verses or filling their minds with the things of God. You know, the good stuff.

Should I tell her what I am about to do or what I am currently doing.
Yep, honesty won out.

Me: "Well, I am, uh, actually teaching my kids the dance to Napoleon Dynamite."

(slight pause . . . Then me making excuses quite fast. )

"It's really clean you know and I am about to start dinner. Good exercise etc."

Before you start to question my parenting skills, admit it, you wish you could do that dance too. It's totally awesome. Most of you have probably already tried it but do it in secret.

Next party, I will show you my skillz.

(My friend did call back in case you were wondering)

Thursday, June 07, 2007

I Have Officially Entered Middle Age

I turned the big 30 this past Sunday. Some of you may be shocked because you thought I was already in my 30's due to my maturity, wisdom, and the fact I have a million kids already.

Many of my friends tell me they just "loooove" being in their 30's. I think they are trying to syke themselves out or something.

Although I have done a ton of great things in my life up to now, there were still a few things I wished I would have done in my 20's. Below are a few things that came to mind. For all my friends in their 20's, take note. Because when you reach your 30's, people will be expecting you to act like a grown up.

1. Drive a wickedly cool car, even if you have to rent it. Let's face it, once you have kids, you enter the mini van stage, not exactly a head turner. I always wanted to drive a car with jacked up hydraulics and flashing neon lights. You know you are thinking the same thing deep down inside.

2. Use words like, wicked, you're trippin man, that's dope, off the chain, my peeps, that's the bomb, word up, yo yo homie.

3. Do something physically adventurous. And do it outside. No one will ever be remembered for playing Nintendo or watching every single episode of Friends. For me, I should have tried extreme rock climbing, sky diving, or riding "Mr. Freeze" at six flags. Now I am too chicken.

4. Do something totally funky with your hair, at least once. Add a streak of hot pink or cut it crazy. I can't do it now for obvious reasons. I would look like a complete idiot with 4 1/2 kids at walmart with a punk hairdo.

5. Try out for American Idol - the age cutoff is 28. OK, now this may not be for everyone and I have probably only seen about 3 episodes ever, but I totally think I could have rocked it because of my karaoke skills.

(On a side note, our church is having vocal auditions next week. Maybe I could pretend it was american idol and after I sing, Brian could hand me a yellow sheet and say, "You're going to Hollywood." )

Well, that's about it for now.