Death Breath

Most of the time Todd is really cool and we don't have too many embarrassing moments in public together. I love him and think he is a pretty great guy. I let him know he is lucky to be married to me, so I can help him out in social situations. So what he did at church today takes the cake on how I will never figure out his weird engineer brain.

We are pulling out of church and he rolls the window down and spits, yes I said SPITS a big wad out the window. I of course yell, "Oh gross! What are you DOING?" I am mortified and grossed out. We are at church. The place I love to be as much as home! What in the world?

Do you know what he said to me?

Todd: "I had really bad breath today at church so I went to the bathroom and ate some soap."

umm - okay

I stare at him as if he is speaking a different language. All I can manage to say is "soap?"

Todd: "Yeah - I didn't get to floss after we had chicken last night so it was really bad."

Me: "Soap?"

Todd: "Yes. What do you want to do for lunch."

At this point, I wasn't sure to gag or laugh.

Later, when we get home, I ask him again why he ate soap. He told me his dentist said the best thing to do for bad breath was swish with dial antibacterial soap. My dad, who is a dentist, never recommends eating soap I am pretty sure. He usually recommends to brush, floss and rinse with mouthwash. The basics. Todd also told me that he had a spit cup in church because he couldn't get rid of the soap taste. . . . spit cup in church.

Just wait, the story gets even better. I ask him if anyone saw him eating soap. He said the guy in line behind him probably thought he was taking a bath because of all the water he was using to wash his mouth.

And this my folks, is typical of a conversation in the Walker house.