Tip #1 For Husbands - What NOT to say to your wife

Sunday morning before church.

Todd: "There's something in your hair and I don't think it's a maggot."

Me: Screaming loudly and shaking my hair out like a wild woman and in the process totally scaring my little baby.

(What was in my hair? A feather from my pillow.)

Todd: "I did say it wasn't a maggot."

*In case you haven't figured it out by now, Todd and I are one unique couple.

The Drive Back to Fort Worth

After a fun week at the beach, we loaded up the mini v and headed back to Fort Worth. Things started out pretty good until Todd started to get a really bad headache. He claims it is because of my driving skillz and the fact that I didn't hug him enough that day. Whatever . . . He should have taken his Advil.

He is sitting in the back row of the mini v and he asks me where the water jug is. "Why?", I say.

"Just in case," Todd say. I am starting to get a little nervous because he is acting really weird. "Just in case of what?"
"In case I need to barf" Todd tells me.

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I am going to stop here for a moment and tell you a little trivia about me. I am extremely afraid of throw up. To say I am afraid is a major understatement. It is a real life phobia. Mentioning that you might barf makes me break out in hives all over my body and do really crazy things. What crazy things you ask. Well, for instance, when one of my daughters was going to throw up a few years ago, I locked her in the backyard and spoke to her through a cracked window, avoiding eye contact. (Don't worry, I really am a good mom).
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So I think you are starting to see my delima here. I start freaking out yelling at Todd, "are you going to barf right now." "What about now?" "Now?" I realize now that I was pretty obnoxious. My breathing becomes quick and shallow and I feel the hives coming. He yells back, "watch the road!" But I can't seem to get it together. He is right in the middle of my rear view mirror and I have a clear picture of him holding the water jug.

I start praying.

Todd is a very dramatic barfer. He is loud and violent. . . Are you starting to feel the urgency of the situation now?
He says pull over because it is getting really bad. I exit the highway going about 80 mph and roll through a stop sign. He feels the need to lecture me. Probably not the best time to talk to me about driving laws.

I didn't think it was a big deal since we were in the middle of nowhere and there was not one single human or car or anything in sight. Besides, I have been watching 24 and learning a lot from Jack Bauer on emergency driving techniques.

We exit off the highway, I am freaking out since he is about to throw up in front of me and what do we see. A little country church. We stop, he hops out and I tell him to get away from us. He goes and lays under a tree. I unload all the kids and head the opposite direction.

Let me describe the scenery. There is the lone, little country church, acres and acres of farmland, cows and us. Other than that nothing. Sounds great huh.

Well, Todd says he is going to sleep under the tree until he feels better. I take the kids exploring. It is 5PM and very hot outside, after all, it was July in Texas. We walk up to the church and it is unlocked. Awesome. I peek in to check it out. It is dark but a lot cooler than being outside. We stand in the entry for a few moments cooling off. I didn't think God would mind. There is a giant crucifix hanging up front and after a while I am starting to get a little creeped out.

Don't get me wrong here. I love Jesus, but it was a little weird just standing in the dark in a strange place. So the kiddos and I decide to leave and go look at the cows.

We look at the cows and over and hour later, yes, it was that long we were waiting on Todd, we load up and begin leg 2 of the journey home. It was also eventful, but I think you have had enough of the Walkers for now.

Beach Vacation Part 2

We finally arrive at South Padre after a long drive.

Here is a picture of the happy family.

What this picture does not reveal is the frustration of locking yourself out of your condo a few times, losing the sheets to your bed, the iritating whining and crying from your husband and son due to a bad sand scrape in a delicate area. Other than that, the actual vacation was great.

We did lots of swimming, building sand castles, avoiding the drunk hippie surfer and crab hunting at night. It was fun.
I know I don't normally post pictures, but here are a few.

Savannah, Bella & Madeline

Savannah and a big crab.

The End . . . Literally.